They're forgetting me. 

                            They're already forgetting me. 

This knowledge cut me like a knife, although there is not a single part of me that is surprised or angry. 

I finally got a few minutes to browse through Facebook today, and with each status, album, update, and profile, I grew more and more aware that life back home is already moving ahead at lightning pace--without me. 

Oh, it hurt. Hurts. 

People I poured myself into. People who have pieces of me. People who I have continued to pray for and remember because my love for them is only strengthened by this distance. 

Ah, spreading your heart around is dangerous, messy business. 

And then God came down and told me--this is how it is. 

You love with all your strength and give your everything to the place you are. Wherever it is, you must BE there and give, give, give. 

And eventually, God will pick you up and carry you off, and then you do it again. 

I instinctively recoil at the thought. Of never putting down roots in anything but God. It's in my nature to want to build security and some kind of stability. 

But no. "Little girl," He said, "I've got you. But you have to let everything else go--grasp me with both hands." 

I drew my knees to my face and cried, long and deep. All I could say was, "okay...okay." I shook my head as God whispered that there would be many goodbyes, many misunderstandings, many long-distance loves, and not much advanced notice. He was talking about the rest of my life, by the way. 

I'm in God's arms, now, and my feet don't touch the ground.