Warning: Rant Ahead.

Thank you all for your encouraging emails and prayers...I am doing better physically, although my stomach is still not back to normal...it's still hard to eat. I've definitely been "slimming down"...but hopefully I can make up for it soon.

I wrote last time about the difficulties here. But I must balance that post with this one, and say: I am not really suffering physically that much at all. Yes, I'm not really enjoying the illness, but I am not in any real danger--I am just more uncomfortable than I'm used to.

But the reality is this: I am an American. I'm getting out of here in two months. I have insurance. I have vaccines to protect me from the worst diseases, and, as a foreigner, I would be rushed to the front of the line in the hospital if needed. I can't escape privilege, even here.

And I have come to realize that I don’t feel like I’m lacking anything here. Yes, I crave grilled cheese and fresh salads (and diet Coke…). Yes, the internet I had at home worked more often than not and was certainly a lot faster. Yes, sinks and faucets are simpler to use than a hose in the sand.

However, the overwhelming impression I have gained in these last six weeks has not been how unbearable the living conditions are here, but rather how undeniably excessive our American “standard of living” is. I’ve always been frustrated with the consumer mentality in the USA—even to the point of haughty cynicism.

But this is a new insight. Before, I criticized our culture of entitlement—a system where the desires of a few take precedent over the very survival of many. Now, I’m living among the poor—not the poorest of the poor, but those who are just barely having their needs met. And you know what? It’s NOT that hard. And, if you ask them, many would tell you they don't consider themselves poor at all. One of my students, who lives on UN food rations, told me the other day, "I thank God, because I have everything I need."

People have made comments to other members of my team, saying things like, “I could never do that (come and live in Africa).”

You know what? We all can do something like this. No one should be unable to live in humble conditions, eating simple meals and experiencing what these people have endured for 35 years. Just because we have comfort and luxury doesn’t mean we are somehow incapable of enduring less. Just because we don’t HAVE to suffer doesn’t mean we should give ourselves license to believe that we CAN’T. In fact, maybe God is calling more of us to renounce the possessions we have dubbed as "blessings"...

My last post I spoke of the way I’ve struggled this past week. It comes with the territory, and yes, I was very sick. HOWEVER, I failed to mention that the small refugee hospital has also been flooded with Saharawi patients this past month, as food poisoning and other illnesses have spread rapidly. I am just one of them. Before coming here, it was a lot more comfortable to be ill (movies, saltine crackers, gatorade, Nyquil...)—but it is no greater tragedy for me to fall ill than it is for any one of my neighbors to be sick.

Americans are not that fragile--there is no genetic difference between "us" and "them", and we must give up our double standards...Either, it's okay for an American to go hungry and without good healthcare, or it's NOT okay for ANYONE to do so. Let's make up our minds.









(Disclaimer: this is not actually directed at any of you. . . This is just an insight into the aforementioned cynicism I'm afraid I fall pray to. I believe that much of what I said, though, has merit. Please excuse any pride and anger that (likely) may have motivated this outburst.)